Budding Promises

Ever since God asked me to give up teaching, I have been aimless. Heather introduced this part of my life as the quarter-life crisis and that sounds about right. I have always been one of those people who need to know the next step. I dare say that my need to know the future flirts with neurotic tendencies. I think teaching was always such a comfort because I determined in 8th grade that’s what I would do and from then on I never needed to think about it again… it was just fact. Well, you can imagine my dumbfounded brain when God said “No” to grad school. I gave it up without too much pushback but still have that dumbfounded look on my face thinking… now what? Each day I work, it becomes clearer that this not the job meant for me. I feel as though I am in the awkward place between obedience to God and pursuing happiness. In some respects I feel as though I am back in 3rd grade dreaming up what I want to do when I grow up. The other day someone asked me to close my eyes and asked if I could be doing anything now what it would be. I closed my eyes, and I instantly saw flowers… many, many flowers. I saw flowers in Mason jars, clay pots, aluminum tins and rolls upon rolls of brown paper. I smelled a mixture of gardenia, rich soils and fresh-cut stems. From this image I can deduce that I was in a floral shop. Sadly, the flower business isn’t exactly what I would call blooming. Finding anything with any sort of benefits and pay comparable to what I make now has proven impossible which tells me that God’s got this. With this, I suppose we’ll see where He takes me. But for now, God has me here, and all I can do is pray, hope and wait… then repeat.

While I’m in the in-between though, let me give you a glimpse of what I see

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