I am approaching the end of my 25th year and it’s somewhat hard for me to believe. As my mother would say, when did this happen? To be completely honest, this is not how I pictured my life. If I had control over my life, this is what it would have looked like: Hi, I’m Jessica (insert married name here). I’ve been married for about four years now and teach at my alma mater North Tapps Middle School. I married my high school sweetheart and he and I live in Sumner in a little 3 bedroom one level house that’s very close to my parents. My life is very routine and that’s how I like it. Now that I’m turning 26, I think it’s probably time to start thinking about having kids. We of course have the money for it, since my husband and I have been saving for kids since the day we got married. I can see my life straight out in front of me and this is fine with me… complete control with no surprises. I go to church on Sundays, give my monthly tithe to the church and will volunteer for the bake sale every year. Life is just the way it should be.
Sounds nice, right? Well, since I don’t have control over my life, so let me break it down for you:
Hello, it’s just me. Jessica Jee Spencer. I’m single and live in Seattle with two roommates just off of Aurora… that’s right, Aurora. I was about to go to grad school to fulfill my lifelong dream of becoming a teacher, but felt like God told me to give it up and I still don’t have a concrete reason of why I was supposed to. I’m not married and I know I’m supposed to wait and still don’t have a concrete reason of why I’m supposed to. I’m not sure what will happen today, and I have no idea what my future looks like. I don’t know much, but I am confident in this. God is good and I’ll do whatever He wants.
To be continued…
Welp, that’s me for now. If I’m completely honest, there are many days where I long for the control, for that safety of knowing what’s around the corner… and if I’m really REALLY honest, there are days when I try and take that control back, but we all know how that ends. So I suppose for now I’m just walking. I’m walking with God hand in hand, sometimes gripping on for dear life, but most of the time going at a nice and slow pace. I guess you could say life is just the way it should be.